1. Evaluating effectiveness.
Read two versions of part of a report on a proposed shuttle bus service for students. Which version is the most appropriate and effective?
Version 1
Introduction
...
Parking at UPHK University is a major problem and is due to the increase in numbers of students attending the university. A survey was conducted among students and staff and the results can be seen below along with recommendations for a university shuttle bus service.
...
Findings
In terms of the schedule and frequency of the shuttle bus service, opinions coincided considerably. The results of the survey suggest that a satisfactory option would be a service that begins at 7 in the morning and continues until 10 o'clock at night, as many students are required to work late, for example, in libraries, tutorial rooms and laboratories. The survey results also indicate that a shuttle service every 15 minutes would be desirable for students.
...
Version 2
Introduction
...
Parking at UPHK is a pretty bad these days, which have developed recently along with the increase numbers of the students attending the university. We conducted a survey and the results are given down below, plus our recommendations.
...
Findings
These survey questions and results are added on at the end of this report, giving the details of the survey questions and showing analysis of answers. The results are really interesting. In terms of the schedule and frequency of the shuttle bus service, everybody agreed with my proposal. That proposal outlines how the service starts at 7 in the morning and continues until 10 o'clock at night. A lot of students have to stay late, like in the library, and that kind of thing. The shuttle service is best every 15 minutes. Well, that's what most students said.
...
2. Evaluating effectiveness.
Look more closely at Version 2 of the extract you read in the previous exercise. Identify some of the specific problems it has. Select the underlined words and phrases and choose the best description of what the problem is.
Parking at UPHK is a pretty bad these days, which have developed recently along with the increase numbers of students attending the university. We conducted a survey and the results are given down below, plus our recommendations.
Findings
These survey questions and results are added on at the end of this report, giving the details of the survey questions and showing analysis of answers. The results are really interesting. In terms of the schedule and frequency of the shuttle bus service, everybody agreed with my proposal. That proposal outlines how the service starts at 7 in the morning and continues until 10 o'clock at night. A lot of students have to stay late, like in the library, and that kind of thing. The shuttle service is best every 15 minutes. Well, that's what most students said. ...
3. Proofreading.
Proofread part of the conclusion sample from the previous section. Select the extra words. There are ten.
6. Determiners.
Determiners are words that appear before a noun to limit or indicate the meaning of that noun in some way. For example, in answer to the question, Who is the transport for? the answer Students is not limited, means students in general. Other possible answers are: the students, those students, some students, our students, etc. Determiners can be articles, demonstratives, quantifiers and possessive determiners.
Choose the best option to complete part of a report introduction. In some cases no determiner is required.
8. Expressing certainty: Word order.
Put the words in order to complete the sentences from the previous exercise.
9. Hedging.
Hedging is a term to describe when you mitigate, or soften, what you say to lessen the impact it has. It is an important feature of effective communication. As a result, knowing when and how to hedge is a valuable writing skill.
Compare the following statements.
There are problems to be addressed. (Statement not hedged)
There may be a few minor problems that need to be addressed. (A hedged statement, using modality and an adjective)
Some issues are somewhat problematic and should be addressed. (A hedged statement, using an adverb and modality)
The results of the survey suggest that problems exist that could be addressed. (A hedged statement, using a clause and modality)
Which is the hedged statement in each pair of sentences?
10. Hedging: Practice.
| Customer: | Do you speak English? |
| Clerk: | Yes, I do. |
| Customer: | Oh, good. |
| Clerk: | How can I help you? |
| Customer: | Well, I have this cheque. It's a cheque in euros, but it's from a bank in Ireland, and I'd like to cash it, if possible. |
| Clerk: | I see. Well, I'm afraid we can't cash it, but we could deposit it into an account. Who is the cheque made out to? |
| Customer: | It's made out to me. It's in my name. |
| Clerk: | I see. And do you have a bank account here in Spain? |
| Customer: | No, I'm afraid I don't. You see, I'm just here for three months, to do a course. |
| Clerk: | I understand. Well, in that case, if you wanted to, you could open an account here and deposit the cheque into your account. But it would take two or three weeks to clear the cheque – that is, for the money to go into your account. Alternatively, if you are not in a hurry, you could keep the cheque and cash it next time you are in Ireland. |
| Customer: | Right. OK. Well ... I'll think about what I want to do and come back if I decide to open an account. You see, I'm not sure if it's worth it – I mean, if I'm just here for three months. |
| Clerk: | Yes, yes, of course. |
| Customer: | Well, thank you very much. |
| Clerk: | Not at all. Glad to be of help. |
| Customer: | Goodbye. |
| Clerk: | Goodbye. |
Can you remember? Type in the missing words so that sentence B is a hedged version of sentence A. The first letter of each missing word is given.
Task
You are now going to complete a report that you started in Section 2. First, read the brief again and refer to the introduction that you wrote in the Section 2 task.
Remember to identify the key information and map out how you are going to organise it. Make notes before you do a first draft of the report.
Brief
Memorandum
| TO: | UPHK Students Services Department |
| FROM: | Lucy Chan, Director of Traffic and Transport |
| DATE: | 2 September 2014 |
| SUBJECT: | Report on Survey of Shuttle Bus Proposal |
As increased numbers of students being admitted use private cars to come to the university, a severe parking problem has resulted. Our department has proposed a student shuttle bus service to address this problem. However, we need to receive feedback from students on our planned routes and schedules. Could you please carry out a survey of student transport needs, analyse the results and make recommendations for the most effective service for us to offer? I would like to present the final proposal at the Deans meeting in February.
Thank you in advance,
Student survey results – preferred shuttle service
Methodology
- Student survey: 8,570 replies
- Optimum route options investigated (take into account, distance, traffic density and usefulness)
- Research other factors to achieve success of shuttle service
Findings
Preferred start time: 7 a.m. (73% of students)
Preferred end time: 10 p.m. (33% of students) (often required to work late in libraries, tutorial rooms, laboratories, etc.)
Preferred frequency: every 15 minutes (85% of students)
| Main Entrance | 25% |
| Student Recreation Building | 35% |
| Library Square | 40% |
| A) Student residences > River Drive > Central Station | 32% |
| B) Student residences > West End > Central Station > East Point Ferry terminal | 38% |
| C) Student residences > West End > East Point Ferry terminal > Central Station (this is the longest route) | 30% |
Other factors
Increase parking restrictions on the campus.
Provide student e-ticket for quick boarding of buses.
Ensure comfort for passengers.
Include the introduction that you wrote in Section 2 of this module. Remember to include language that you have studied in this module.
Write between 400 and 450 words.When you have completed the task, you can look at a sample answer. Compare the sample answer with your own.
Introduction
The purpose of this report is to evaluate the transport needs of students at the university for the Director of Traffic and Transport, Lucy Chan. A survey of student transport needs was carried out and the results were analysed. This report describes these results and makes recommendations for the most effective shuttle bus service for students.
Methodology
With the aim of evaluating the transport needs of students at UPHK, a survey was carried out and a total of 8,570 responses were received. In the survey, students were asked to state a preferred start and end time, as well as frequency for the proposed service. In addition, they were asked about preferred routes, along with pickup and drop-off points. Finally, they were invited to provide comments on other factors that would encourage use of the shuttle service. Evaluation was then made on the basis of the student responses.
Findings
In terms of the schedule and frequency of the shuttle bus service, opinions coincided considerably with a preferred start time of 7 a.m. for 73% of the students, and a finish time of 10 p.m., as many students are required to work late, for example, in libraries, tutorial rooms and laboratories. The survey results also indicate that a shuttle service every 15 minutes would be desirable for the majority of students, as would a pickup and drop-off point in Library Square, as opposed to the Main Entrance or the Student Recreation Building.
Regarding choice of routes, the response was considerably mixed with all three proposed options having similar popularity. Nevertheless, Route B, with 38%, is marginally more popular than Routes A and C, with 32% and 30% of votes, respectively. It could be argued that a majority of the students would prefer the shuttle service to connect with the East Point Ferry, as this destination is included in Routes B and C, which together obtained 68% of student votes. On the other hand, the least popular route, Route C, is also the longest of the three proposed routes.
Concerning other factors to encourage use of the shuttle service, students mentioned an increase in parking restrictions on the campus, the provision of a student e-ticket for quick boarding of buses, as well as guaranteed passenger comfort on the buses.
Conclusions
Based on the findings above, it appears that there is considerable agreement on service times and frequency; however, on the question of routes, preferences are mixed across all three options. There is also considerable agreement on other factors to encourage use of the service.
Recommendations
In view of these conclusions, I would like to make following recommendations:
Firstly, the most satisfactory service for students would be one that starts at 7 a.m. and runs until 10 p.m. Secondly, the service would have a frequency of every 15 minutes, leaving from Library Square and following Route B, terminating at the East Point Ferry terminal. Furthermore, increased parking restrictions, an efficient ticketing system, and passenger comfort could be seen as key factors in ensuring a high level of use of the service by students.
Finally, I hope that you find the information in this report useful. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have further enquiries or require additional information.
Regards,
Jim Chiu
